Tree-lined boulevards, cafés spilling onto wide pavements, nimble waiters delivering the most exquisite of dishes, and a smattering of applause for the female busker who’s singing a soulful Edith Piaf.
Around us are couples chatting unhurriedly and people-watching – and the unmistakable vibe of love and laughter is in the air.
I’ve been to Paris endlessly over the years and this scene is achingly familiar.
Except this isn’t Paris – it’s Palma, and one of the shortest hops to a romantic weekend that anyone could dream of.
Here are the majestic buildings, the cathedrals, the flower shops, the boutiques and the thrift shops filled with vintage treasures.
It’s Paris-by-the-sea, and I can’t think of a better place to be. Palma is as romantic as the French capital, but here I’m just ten minutes from the glorious beach and a short drive from a jaw-dropping coastline.
Grabbing a rental car at Palma airport is incredibly easy, and just 20 minutes later – yes, reader, this easy – we roll up at our destination: the spectacular Iberostar Selection Llaut Palma.
It’s a Hollywood-style hotel, with uniformed staff who welcome you with a chilled cava. A quick stroll up to your room reveals a modern but stunning interior – a huge bed overlooking floor-to-ceiling windows that open onto a generous balcony overlooking the sea. Clever design puts the super-modern sinks and taps on a wall behind the bed, with a giant walk-in shower that you normally see only in the movies.
It’s so good that you don’t need to leave – and, indeed, the newlyweds in the room next to us have a ‘do not disturb’ sign on their door for two days. On the third day, hotel staff arrive to replace their broken bed (true story!).
The first stop for us is the luxurious hotel spa for massages. Next, the pool – there’s a separate one for kids. Then, a quick trip to the beach – a five-minute walk onto soft white sands, a warm bath of sea and the entertaining sight of Mallorcans young and old enjoying the fun.
Authorities in Mallorca are keen to dispel the lager-lout image that has tainted their beautiful island by introducing all-inclusive deals at hotels and limiting the amount of alcohol that guests can order to three drinks at lunch and the same number at dinner. The drinks poured are enormous, so you won’t feel short-changed at all.
Our drinks on the balcony – sipping cocktails as we watch an Insta-perfect sunset – and then eating at the hotel’s à la carte restaurant between them make up the most romantic location and the best food we’ve ever sampled.
The next day, in a change of pace, we join two couples for a demonstration at the award-winning Asian-fusion Katagi Blau restaurant, watching the teppanyaki chef throw food dramatically into his hat, among other party tricks. It’s such fun that we’re all firm friends by the end of the meal.
The 20-minute bus ride into Palma the next morning is like a private tour (for £1.50) as we take in the sights.
When the bus stops in the centre of the old town, it’s as if we’ve stepped back in time. There’s none of the frantic hooting traffic of Paris but, instead, all the beautiful boulevards, chic fashion boutiques, picturesque pavement cafés and sumptuous patisseries you’d associate with that French city.
Getting there
Stansted to Palma flights from £125 return, Jet2 and easyJet.
Iberostar Selection Llaut Palma doubles from £126, Ibersostar.
The Island Summer Pass allows you to enjoy swimming, food and drink at the island’s 14 Iberostar hotels.
This is the place to stroll unhurriedly through empty alleyways and hidden streets – and the discovery of higgledy-piggledy vintage shops, stuffed with treasures made it, for us, the ultimate destination.
And then… there was lunch. The island is a paradise of local fish, including Sóller prawns, cap roig and llampuga, as well as the freshest of oranges and apricots.
Hidden in alleyways and cavernous walled entrances you’ll find the cool, ancient eatieres filled with locals and undiscovered by tourists.
Here is where a love of the finest local wines, locally grown extra virgin olive oil and rustic dishes is truly celebrated. Come here, friends, and dine like you’ve never dined before. Unhurried staff will urge you to stay for hours – and finally, fuelled with food and wine, you’ll wind your way home through the tree-lined avenues amid a gentle evening breeze.
Breaks don’t come easier than this. Romance here is just a two-hour, 50-minute flight from London. Flit from pool to paella, marvel at the sunsets and settle in a hotel that’s just made for luxury. What’s not to love?
10 more loved-up places that hit the spot
1. The Arctic Hideaway
You want seclusion? How about a room that’s so isolated, it’s up a pole in the middle of nowhere looking out to sea? That’s what you’ll get at Fordypningsrommet Fleinvaer (don’t worry, you won’t have to ask a taxi driver for that: the ferry will drop you off).
At this little community on a tiny island inside the Arctic Circle, your dinners will be home-cooked by the wardens. The pleasures are simple, with a guitar to play, walking and the classic Nordic sauna-then -jump-in-the-sea combo. Oh, and they’ll wake you if the Northern Lights go on.
2. Somerset
It’s the new Cotswolds, the country celebrity hotspot (blame Johnny Depp), but it couldn’t be more romantic.
From the mystical town of Glastonbury, with its strange Tor – a ridiculously steep hill with a tower on top – to Bruton with its art scene thanks to dealers Hauser & Wirth, who have a gallery-restaurant-hotel-garden, the whole county isgreen and pleasant.
It’s perfect for settling in front of roaring fires, walking – hand-in-hand, obviously – through gorgeous countryside, and indulging in the finest food there is. Choose the Newt, a beautiful – and hard to get into – Georgian limestone stately home with picturesque rooms, the Garden Café and bucolic loveliness everywhere you look.
3. Sao Lourenco do Barrocal
If you don’t mind the back of beyond, head to Alentejo, a spot about 90 minutes from Lisbon. Here, an old farm estate has been transformed into a stunning getaway in the middle of rolling countryside, with wild horses and ancient obelisks. Stay in a cottage and eat in the courtyard where, in the summer, movies are shown under the stars.
You can also check in at the spa or head to the stables for riding. Staff set up a romantic picnic for us – tiffin tins of food and chilled wine – under an olive tree next to a prehistoric monolith – and we were just mates!
4. Brighton
With a time-honoured reputation as the destination for a dirty weekend, Brighton still has ‘saucy’ written through it like a stick of rock.
Visit the decadent Royal Pavilion, eat somewhere swish such as Terre à Terre, take a tour and see where LGBTQ+ characters from Oscar Wilde to Gentleman Jack hung out, and stay at the beautifully refurbished A Room With A View – with sea views and the best vegan breakfast we’ve ever had.
The LGBTQ+ scene is legendary, and there’s even a Soho House to visit, if you’re a member. And that’s not to mention the pebbly beach and funfair on the pier.
5. Ari Islands, Maldives
On a man-made island where the sand and palm trees were imported, you’ll find the slickest of Maldivian experiences – and it’s fun! The ultra-modern, over-water villas with views out to sea are sophisticated and sustainable. The island has a variety of restaurants, so you won’t have the same dinner twice, and the place is filled with art, lovely boutiques and food stalls, giving it a posh festival vibe.
Watersports, diving, dinner on the sand and cocktails under the trees are available, and you can have a bath on your balcony where no one can see you (wink, wink).
6. Paris
Easy to get to – hooray for Eurostar! – stunning and much friendlier than legend would have it, Paris isn’t all old-school any more.
For a start, there’s Fondation Louis Vuitton and Bourse de Commerce for edgy art shows. The Rosa Bonheur bar has the most fun gay Sunday nightery in a park that Paris has ever seen, and there are cool, bargain hotels such as Mama Shelter, where the rates are excellent, the atmosphere is fun… and the adult movies are free!
7. Pico
Strange lunar landscapes that can’t decide whether they’re tropical or Scottish, design straight from an architectural catalogue, and some of the best wine in Europe. If these are your ingredients for a romantic getaway, the island of Pico in the Portugal’s Azores in the middle of the Atlantic is for you.
With a rugged coastline, it resembles Orkney, and the countryside is checkered with strange, centuries-old, vine-protecting walls. Over at the Azores Wine Company, it’s all concrete interiors, fine-dining and wine so good it’s not exported. All this in the middle of nowhere.
8. San Francisco
It’ll always have a special place in the hearts of the LGBTQ+ community as pretty much the first ‘gay’ city in the world, and San Francisco – for all its problems with homelessness – is still a romantic spot.
Maybe it’s the fog that rolls in over the Golden Gate Bridge as you’re walking along the beachfront, or the historic buildings, or maybe the ridiculously steep hills, the food scene and the gay scene based around the Castro.
Choose the landmark Beacon Grand, a newly refurbished hotel where the martinis are second to none and the grandeur is breathtaking. And there’s no huge price tag attached!
9. London
It may not sound too romantic if you live or work there, but with a rash of fabulous new hotels, there’s always room for a sexy overnighter in the English capital.
Yes, there’s the ridiculously expensive only-millionaires-need-apply OWO on Whitehall, but how about the deliciously grand and beautifully funky new Twenty Two in the heart of Mayfair? Based in a turn-of-the-last-century building, the hotel has maximalist, quirky and sexy rooms – especially the red-on-red one.
The British-meets-Mediterranean restaurant promises ‘minimal intervention’, so you can gaze lovingly without a constant, ‘Is everything all right for you?’
10. Mykonos
It may have a reputation as party central – thanks, Lindsay Lohan – but it’s not all techno on the beach. Mykonos Town is so picturesquely Greek that it looks like a film set (the shops are Dior and Chanel, mind).
You can have a gorgeous meal in Little Venice with the waves lapping at your feet before hopping round for seafront excitement at the legendary gay-forward bar JackieO’.
Hotel-wise, save up for Theoxenia – the original Mykonos hotel, which feels secluded even though it’s in the centre of town. And if it’s good enough for Mick Jagger…
Simon Gage
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