GIVEN that the world of academia ain’t what it used to be (a degree in Taylor Swift anyone?) someone should do a thesis on how various celebrities behave in the immediate aftermath of a very public cheating scandal.
Trust me.
Geri is putting on a united front with husband Christian after his texting scandal[/caption]
As someone who’s been in the observation and opinion game for eons, it’s a fascinating study of human behaviour.
Damage limitation specialists always advise “business as usual” to their clients in the eye of a media storm, which translates as “suck it up for now and we’ll deal with any fallout once the headlines have moved on”.
But while some have obliged, others have famously flicked a metaphoric V sign to that suggestion and let their displeasure be known, such as Matt Hancock’s wife Martha who, after that snog was caught on CCTV, emerged from the family house stony faced and alone to walk the family dog.
Or Rebecca Humphries who, after seeing the photos of her boyfriend Seann Walsh’s kiss with Strictly dance partner Katya Jones, put out a statement to say she’d been sitting home alone on her birthday when it happened and that he’d branded her “psycho/nuts/mental” when she’d voiced earlier suspicions. Oof.
Early signs suggest Geri Horner (aka Ginger Spice) has drunk the “business as usual” Kool-Aid after landing in Bahrain to discover that, far from being over, her husband’s texting scandal had reared its ugly head again with the release of “flirty” messages between him and a female work colleague.
But I’m not so sure.
Chances are that the united front she’s currently presenting isn’t for husband Christian, but to limit any potential damage to their seven-year-old son Monty as his parents’ woes are played out in public view.
What’s the betting that, while she looks calm and collected on the outside, internally she’s seething and the brain cogs are whirring with pertinent questions such as, “How could you have been so damned stupid?”
And ultimately, “Should I stay or should I go?”
Her former bandmate Victoria Beckham did the united front thing in 2004 after husband David was accused of having an affair with Rebecca Loos, but later admitted that, despite their “happy family” holiday snaps, they were “against each other in private”.
But they worked through it for the sake of their kids and their marriage survived.
Sarah Jessica Parker did the same with husband Matthew Broderick, as did Beyonce with Jay-Z, Catherine West with The Crown actor Dominic West, and, of course, the patron saint of forgiving wives, Coleen Rooney.
Sometimes it works out, and sometimes the trust has been eroded so badly that further down the line the relationship quietly disintegrates when no one is looking.
This happened with Melanie Griffith and Antonio Banderas, who limped on for two years after he was caught cheating, and Liz Hurley and Hugh Grant, who managed another five years after his night of madness with sex worker Divine Brown.
And perhaps most famously of all, former Cabinet minister David Mellor’s wife Joan Hall, who took part in that cringey staged photoshoot at the end of their driveway with her kids and parents shortly after her husband had been caught having an affair with jobbing actress Antonia de Sancha.
Some chalk it up to a bad experience and move on with their lives, while others take the “revenge is a dish best served cold” route, of which Princess Diana is perhaps the most famous with her “there were three of us in this marriage, so it was a bit crowded” Panorama interview after years of tolerating Charles’s relationship with Camilla Parker-Bowles.
Or Margaret Cook, wife of former Foreign Secretary Robin Cook, who published a largely unflattering memoir about their marriage and his serial cheating.
Or any number of female singers who take down anyone who’s wronged them with a pithy song lyric (Gwen Stefani, Shakira, Taylor Swift, Adele etc).
And, finally, there’s the humour tactic, so ably deployed by Sharon Osbourne who, when asked about husband Ozzy’s past infidelities, recently remarked: “There wasn’t just one woman; there were six of them.
“Some Russian teenager, then a masseuse in England, our masseuse, and then our cook . . . He had women in different countries.
“Basically, if you’re a woman giving Ozzy either a back rub or a trolley of food, God help you.”
So what will be the story of Geri Horner’s marriage when columnists look back on it in years to come?
Will it be one of survival against the odds? Or an eventual casualty of ongoing mistrust?
Probably the former, I’d guess.
Unless, of course, there’s more to the story.
Only time will tell.
DALE’S POOR CHOICE
“KEIR – this one’s for Gaza,” said George Galloway after his sizeable victory in the Rochdale by-election, before adding that Labour leader Starmer and Prime Minister Rishi Sunak were “two cheeks of the same backside”, who both “got well and truly spanked tonight”.
That may be. But ultimately, the real loser will be Rochdale.
George Galloway won the Rochdale by-election[/caption]
Defined in recent years by a sex-grooming scandal, it is one of the poorest areas in the country.
In October it declared a housing emergency after it emerged there are 10,000 people in need of homes and a waiting list of up to five years.
And despite promises being made after the death of two-year-old Awaab Ishak from respiratory problems caused by persistent damp and mould in his parents’ council flat, some residents say the problem is worse than ever.
So, will “this one’s for Gaza” Galloway be the town’s knight in shining armour for local issues? Don’t hold your breath.
Just ask the residents in his previous two constituencies of Bradford West and Bethnal Green and Bow, who voted him out after one term.
ROYAL SNAIL
THE Lancashire town of Skelmersdale has been dubbed the “Bermuda triangle”.
Not because ships and aircraft disappear there under mysterious circumstances (it’s 17 miles inland, for starters).
But because Royal Mail appears to have forgotten where it is.
Local resident Bryan Wareing, 87, who is being treated for cancer, waited four weeks for a delivery only for 41 letters to arrive at once.
His septuagenarian neighbours got nothing for five weeks and ended up having to traipse to the local sorting office to collect a pile of post.
Meanwhile, Royal Mail has just announced that the cost of a “First Class” stamp will rise to £1.35 next month.
There’s a joke here somewhere, but I’m not sure they’d get it.
FRED SAID RIGHT
IN a triumph of common sense over blatant greed, a High Court judge has ruled that a grandfather was perfectly entitled to leave just £50 each to the grandchildren who barely bothered to visit him when he was alive.
Former soldier Frederick Ward Sr split his £500,000 fortune between his two children Terry and Susan when he died in 2020, but left nothing for the five daughters of his late son Fred Jr.
Frederick Ward Sr left nothing for his five granddaughters when he died as none of them visited him in hospital[/caption]
They sued, but the judge heard the 91-year-old had been upset when none of them visited him in hospital, and accepted evidence they “did not care about him”.
Sounds like Fred was a canny soul and they were lucky to get 50 quid.
A friend’s grandfather was diagnosed with dementia and, in the years before his death, his grandson was always tapping him up for bits of cash, much to the annoyance of the two granddaughters.
When their grandfather died, he left a substantial sum to the two women and nothing for their brother, explaining posthumously in a note: “He’s had enough out of me.”
But at least his grandson saw the funny side and didn’t contest.
WAITING times in A&E are five times worse than a decade ago.
No surprises there.
The number of people who aren’t registered with a GP is rising and they use the emergency room as a glorified doctor’s surgery.
And they’re joined in the waiting room by those who are registered with a GP but can only get an appointment when the moon is rising in Sagittarius and there’s an R in the month.
DOES SHE RIHLLY NEED THE CASH?
POP star Rihanna was uncharacteristically low key as she performed at the wedding of an Indian billionaire’s son.
When a clip leaked online fans accused the singer of doing the “bare minimum” for her £5million payday, commonly known as a “bank raid” in sleb circles.
Rihanna was uncharacteristically low key as she performed at the wedding of an Indian billionaire’s son[/caption]
When a clip leaked online fans accused the singer of doing the ‘bare minimum’ for her £5million payday[/caption]
Begging the question, why bother?
Does she need the cash so badly?
Obviously, if someone offered me £5milion (£5 more like) to sing at their wedding, I’d be there in a flash.
But she’s Rihanna, for God’s sake.
She’s a singing superstar. Isn’t she above being a performing seal for a rich man’s son?
