ON Father’s Day, Instagram was awash with gushing tributes from celebrities and muggles alike to the men who sired and nurtured them.
Even the site’s owner Mark Zuckerberg joined in, posting a photo of his dad Ed surrounded by his children and grandkids and the caption: “Happy Father’s Day to the man who started and continues to inspire our whole family.”
But what of those for whom a father figure has always been, and remains, absent?
If there’s a strong mother and wider family support network in the picture, then that’s a good foundation from which to potentially build a happy life.
But if a child’s starter years are, at best chaotic, worse, neglectful and abusive, then the chances of them staying on the straight and narrow diminishes greatly.
Details are starting to emerge about the background of the two 12-year-old boys who fatally stabbed 19-year-old Shawn Seesahai in a West Midlands park and it’s a predictable tale of parental failure.
By contrast, Shawn, an aspiring engineer from Anguilla, in the Caribbean, enjoyed a close and loving relationship with his father Suresh and mother Manashwry.
They were gracious enough to say they felt sorry for the killers’ parents, but his mum added: “Twelve-year-old kids should be at home doing school work and then going to bed.
I have two children and at 7.30pm they had to go to bed because they have to follow the rules of the house.”
Hear hear. But it sounds as though much-needed parental boundaries were sorely lacking in the lives of Shawn’s attackers.
One reportedly comes from an “extremely difficult” background involving care workers and lives with a relative other than his parents. There is no father named on his birth certificate.
The other lives in a flat with his mother and a sibling (again, no mention of a father) and they have moved several times in the past few years.
Neighbours say both boys were groomed by a gang of older lads and one of them in particular was constantly stealing and being arrested and that “social services were always here”.
Did this gang step unchallenged in to the vacuum left by the lack of a strong male role model in the lives of these young boys? Possibly.
After all, being part of a gang can feel like “family” in the absence of any boundaries or love at home.
So was Shawn’s brutal murder carried out by two misguided, neglected kids trying to show the older lads what “big men” they are?
Or were they just born evil and no amount of stable parenting would have changed that?
Only time and the adults they become will give us the answer.
Faint hope of my ticket out there
SIR Ian McKellen is recovering well after falling off stage halfway through his critically acclaimed performance in Player Kings in London’s West End.
Medics in the audience came to his aid and, after being taken to hospital, the 85-year-old is “in good spirits” and hoped to be back treading the boards tonight.
Disappointed theatregoers will be given refunds or tickets for another night.
In 2016, I went to see Dexter star Michael C Hall in Lazarus, a play so style over substance that I neither knew nor cared what was going on.
When someone fainted in the seat directly behind me, the performance had to be halted and, as I watched them being led out of the auditorium, I felt an unabashed twinge of envy that it wasn’t me.
A Lau Blow
IT’S alleged that Kyle Walker’s former mistress Lauryn Goodman is planning to take their four-year-old son Kairo to see his dad play in the third Euros group game.
Defender Kyle, 34, and 33-year-old Lauryn haven’t spoken since his wife Annie discovered he also has a daughter with the reality TV star, but a source says: “Lauren truly believes that Kyle will want his son there.”
Hmmm. If Annie also attends with their four sons, the potential clash could make greater headlines than anything that happens on the pitch.
Lauryn’s wish for her “football mad” son to see his dad play in such a significant tournament is perhaps understandable, but for the sake of all the children involved in this mess, it should perhaps be as incognito as possible.
If, as rumoured, she turns up with reality show cameras in tow, one wonders whether she has her son’s best interests at heart . . . or her own.
Give it a Rest, Fellas
“MY dad was a toolmaker,” says Keir Starmer at every available opportunity.
While Rishi Sunak’s example of childhood deprivation is that he wasn’t allowed a Sky box.
Yawn. I grew up in a single-parent household without a bathroom, phone, TV or central heating.
Does this mean I’m a shoo-in as the next PM? Of course not.
So can we please stop this “we lived for three months in a paper bag in a septic tank” nonsense please?
Winston Churchill was an aristocrat born at Blenheim Palace and went to private school, yet no one banged on about whether he could relate to the less well-off factions of society.
He remains one of our most celebrated PMs for his intellect, leadership and strategic thinking.
So rather than obsess about the candidates’ past, let’s focus on the future and what they can do to make it better for everyone.
Why I Love a Jam Jar
MEN turn in to their dads when they hit 43, says a new poll.
This includes having your own chair to watch TV, keeping cardboard boxes, talking about your route and, natch, telling the same old jokes.
So what about signs that women are turning in to their mothers?
For me, it’s saving multiple carrier bags and empty jars, grumbling about the poor seam work on fast fashion, endlessly observing how most modern music “doesn’t have a tune”, accumulating cookery books I never open, making lists I then lose, and always wearing clean underwear in case I’m knocked over and taken to hospital.
Lid is a safe choice
GORDON RAMSAY’S bruised torso is a sight to behold after a “really bad” bike accident in the US.
Also posting a photo of his badly damaged cycling helmet, he urges everyone to wear one because: “If I didn’t, honestly, I wouldn’t be here now.”
He has a point.
The sunshine is finally out in the UK and, with it, a proliferation of woefully inexperienced cyclists without helmets wobbling all over the road on motorised rental bikes.
Driving through any city these days is like a nob-stacle course as you dodge people who, with a few sensible exceptions, are either p***ed, using their phones while pedalling or carrying some oversized shopping bags on both handlebars.
A few weeks ago, I had to do an emergency stop as one hurtled off the pavement and into the road.
Would a helmet save their lives if they go under the wheels of a lorry? Probably not.
But in terms of preventing head injuries in general, there’s surely an argument for making them compulsory?
Oh Hang on, I do Have Balls!
ANOTHER week, another lame stunt from Lib Dem leader Ed Davey.
Presumably to try to garner himself some headlines other than those pointing out that when he was postal affairs minister he initially refused to meet campaigning hero and newly knighted Sir Alan Bates.
It was a mistake perceived as cowardly and no amount of water slides, obstacle courses and fairground rides will change that.
THE short-sleeved raincoat is in fashion.
So your lower arms will get wet. Duh.
Sleeveless jumpers baffle me too.
Either you’re cold or you’re not. Which is it?
And don’t get me started on socks with sandals.
Whatever next – peep-toe wellingtons?
